Favorite Photo of 2010

Favorite Memory of 2010

Hi everyone! I can not believe 2010 is nearly over. Where do I begin about this exciting and terrifying year. Lets see... Beginning of the year I was seeking God about Bible college and my momma quit chemo. I got accepted into Bible college in the Spring. Graduated in May :) Had a summer of tough lessons and had to let go of a very special person of my life. Moved in with my Co-Pastor and his family. Started working full time at the local tire shop. Totaled my car (Yea, I didn't blog about it but lets just say I flipped into a ditch and landed upside down, walked away with soreness, a broke nail, and a few bruises on my leg.. God's amazing faithfulness) But my favorite memory of the whole year... Let's see I have a lot. But the one I am going to share is bittersweet.

About two weeks before my Momma passed she had my daddy buy her a wedding dress from a local boutique. See she wanted to re-marry him on their 25th wedding anniversary (this year was their 21st) The dress was way too small for her but she put it on anyways. Later she had me put on the dress (I could not fit it either) but she told me "You are going to make a beautiful Bride."

Memories do not have to be necessarily full of happiness to be treasured so close to the heart. I have many memories of this year that I fill my heart with sadness and a tinge of joy around the edges. Through all of this year I have learned many important lessons of growing up and taking responsibility. I have been at times "floating on top of the clouds" and at other times "buried in grief. "

I could not have made it if it was not for Jesus. My steady Rock that has held me firmly. Through all my wrongs and dissapointments. To the joyful, amazing moments. I do not want to miss out on the rest of my journey.

I do not know what 2011 will bring. I can firmly say that Jesus does :)

Happy New Year,
Tiffany

1st Christmas & Remembering

This year was my family's first Christmas without my Beautiful. Precious Momma. But as I read in someone's elses blog. She is spending Christmas with Jesus. Her love for the Lord was so passionate. I remember a time even though she must have been in a lot of pain. ( I think she sheltered a lot of times how much she must have hurt) But she got on her knees and prayed. Her courage lives on in my heart. Touching Jesus was all that mattered to her. I remember a couple of days before she passed we nearly lost her. Our double wide filled with all sorts of family, the room was filled with doubt. As I was and a few other people were holding on for a miracle. I remember leaving for church and telling that room of people I had faith and they better get some or something to that effect. It no longer matters to me what I said. The night before she passed away I came in from church ( We were having a Youth Explosion which we did not stop despite the fact of my momma's sickness and even her passing each night we were in service.. I did not want to stop. I knew my mom would want us to have church) I told her that we were going to make it and she said "Of course" Throughout everything she wanted me to talk Faith. Even when hospice came she reassured me they were only going to help, that it did not mean she was going to die. I was angered nearly every time a hospice nurse visited. I remember one day in particular. The hospice nurse was asking all sorts of questions. Even though my momma was laying there on the couch sleeping she asked what funeral home we would be using. Oh. My.Word. I know the lady was just doing her job. But for pete's sake! My momma held on to faith so strongly. She came to the Youth Explosion four days before her passing I believe. Even though she sat in the van (We were outside in a tent) My pastor prayed for her and told her to believe for God's healing and to confess her healing. She did of course even though she was half out of it with medicine. These are bittersweet memories. I cry because I miss her so much and at the same time I am impacted by her love for Jesus. I know she got her healing. Just in a way I did not want. Some days I think of the last few weeks of her life and they play continually in my mind. I try not to think of the day she went home. It was a day of shock and I comforted other people that whole weekend. Her life was definitely celebrated in that weekend. Only God gave me the strength to face it. She was truly my best friend. I wanted to share some photos I took last Christmas of her.

My Sweet Momma

This is a picture of me and mom before she got really sick. We were walking that day when I took this picture. I loved our long walks and we would talk about the future. She is so beautiful. Her going away party was Sunday... It was wonderful... I had been crying at the beginning. Then my cousin Cathy got up and sang "Ain't No Grave Going to Hold My Body Down." Man I got up and started clapping my hands. A peace just washed over me. I knew where my momma was at. She was in the arms of Jesus... and that I will always have a guardian angel. After my pastor preached a beautiful farewell she opened up the floor to anyone who wanted to say anything. I knew it was the strength of God that helped me get up and take the mic. I talked about her for just a few minutes. Her faithfulness to God and how she loved everybody so much. Then I sang her song that she sang nearly every time she got up at church.



"Don't, don't, don't, don't let the devil ride.

Dont, don't, don't, don't let the devil ride.

If you let him ride, he'll wanna drive,

don't let the devil ride."



"Don't, don't, don't, don't let him talk to you.

Don't, don't, don't, don't let him talk to you.

You let him talk to you, he'll make you sad and blue,

don't let him talk to you."



It's a really upbeat song. People probaly thought I was on nerve medicine but I was on Jesus. God was my strength! Another thing people probaly thought me and my church was crazy. See we have been in a youth revival in a tent in the boonies (southern word :) People have been getting saved and filled with the HolyGhost. We didn't stop having church the day she went home with Jesus, nor her wake, neither the day of her going away party. We (even me) went onto church... and people came those nights and got deliverance. You could feel momma's Spirit there with us at the tent. I told some of our young people before we left for church...that was just my momma's body there, but her Spirit was at that tent meeting. I wanted to be where my momma was at. I know people thought I was off my rocker. It's something I can't explain. God has just had me hid in His arms.



I can't tell you how much my church family has meant to me during this time. It's amazing... You find out who your true family is. :):) I love them people to death...



Just pray for me right now and my little brother. He took it hard, he's not even ten, so theres things he doesn't understand. I mean I don't understand why it was God's will for my momma to go on to be with the Lord. But let me tell you something my momma did not quit having faith. The night before she went home, I told her something along the lines, We are going to make it through this, we are going to keep fighting, and I will never forget her words "Of course." Somebody said something on my FaceBook about how her faith ended in sight. I have no doubt she's done met all them Bible people. I can just see her talking to Esther.. "Me and my daughter loved that movie 'One Night With the King', is that how it really happened?" My uncle asked her just last week "Who's your favorite person in the Bible?" and she said "Jesus." Last Wedensday we had nearly lost her and all our family had gathered at the house. My uncle I think went and hugged her and said something about her dying..and she said something along the lines "Ya'll have all came to see me die, I'm not dying." She fought on longer than the hospice nurse thought. Let me tell you something I don't care for them kind of people, well their profession, put it that way... Man, but I love me some Jesus FAITH people :) Wow so I have wrote a lot. Just wanted to say how wonderful my momma is.. To me she isn't dead, but alive in Heaven and in my heart. The Lord brought a scripture to my heart, where the angels were at the tomb, and they said "Why do you search for the living among the dead?" I think that is how it went.....



Welp, this is just a little tribute to my momma :) Who's dancing on the diamonds flung across the sky :)



Blessings and Love,

Tiffany

Heaven is Sweeter

Yesterday my wonderful, sweet, lovely Momma went to Heaven. I know she's up in Heaven shouting a storm down. My momma loves God so much and she was truly a servant of God. Please just pray for my family:)

Blessings and Love,
Tiffany

~Tiffany's iPhone~