God of Comfort

My mother going home to Jesus was bittersweet. To see her in so much pain and for her to get her healing is the sweet part. I am human though. Her passing has left me at times with tormentous grief. Some nights I have cryed so hard. I have seen things happen and be heartbrokened. These past months I ask God "WHY?"

Why does my little brother have to grow up without a mom? Why did she have to go just when I was about to enter adulthood? Why couldn't she have stayed? Why do we have to go through so much pain? Why? Why?

The other day something happened and I was wondering about pain and WHY? God lovingly reminded me

"If we did not have or know pain, how would we know His comfort."

I do not have all the reasons and purposes "Why?" My mother had to leave. But God does. He sees the bigger picture. Whenever I question Him. He reminds me of His Love and Care. That He just did not rip her from our lives to be mean, but to show His Love and Mercy. He is the God of all comfort. I could not have made it without Him. Never, Ever could have I.

Maybe you haven't lost a loved one. Maybe you have broke up with your boyfriend/girlfriend or had a huge dissapointment about life. God is there. Through Rain or Shine. 24/7! Just give Him your pain and loss. He will fill you with joy and completeness. In Isaiah 51:12 it says

"I, even I, am He that comforteth you...."

Isaiah is filled with verses about the Lord comforting His people.

"For the Lord shall comfort Zion; He will comfort all her waste places:

and he will make her wilderness like Eden, and her desert

like the Garden of the Lord; joy and gladness shall be found therein,

thanksgiving, and the voice of Melody."

~Isaiah 51:3

Jesus knows how to comfort our hearts. For He knows exactly what we are going through.

"Surely He hath borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows"

~Isaiah 53:4

I will finish with one last verse out of Psalms 23. This is one of the most well known Psalms. Last year I believe was the first time it really had an impact on me and I thought of this verse as I was writing this post.

"Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,

I will fear no evil:

For Thou art with me:

Thy rod and Thy staff they comfort me"

Blessings and Love,

Tiffany

A New Year's Prayer

I was reading the "Dear Abby" section today in the newspaper. Someone had sent in a prayer by St. Francis. I personally love this prayer, because it sums up what our light for Christ should be.

"Lord make me an instrument of your peace.

Where there is hatred, let me show love;

Where there is doubt, faith;

Where there is despair, hope;

Where there is darkness, light;

and Where there is sadness, joy;

O' Divine Master, grant that I may not

so much to seek to be consoled as to console;

to be understood, as to understand;

to be loved, as to love;

For it is giving that we recieve,

It is pardoning, that we are pardoned

and it is dying that we are born to

Eternal Life"

Happy New Year

So it is 2011 :) Wow a fresh new year... I am 3 hours and 53 minutes into it :0)

Here a few minutes ago I opened up my Bible and it opened to Matthew 6:21

"For where your treasure is, there will be your heart be also"

I try not to make New Year Resolutions, because I usually end up not keeping them.

What I do want to think of is "Where my Heart is?" That is what I challenge you also. As we leave an old year behind. Reach into this new year with a Heart for GOD. For the reward of the treasure is far beyond what we can imagine.

Favorite Photo of 2010

Favorite Memory of 2010

Hi everyone! I can not believe 2010 is nearly over. Where do I begin about this exciting and terrifying year. Lets see... Beginning of the year I was seeking God about Bible college and my momma quit chemo. I got accepted into Bible college in the Spring. Graduated in May :) Had a summer of tough lessons and had to let go of a very special person of my life. Moved in with my Co-Pastor and his family. Started working full time at the local tire shop. Totaled my car (Yea, I didn't blog about it but lets just say I flipped into a ditch and landed upside down, walked away with soreness, a broke nail, and a few bruises on my leg.. God's amazing faithfulness) But my favorite memory of the whole year... Let's see I have a lot. But the one I am going to share is bittersweet.

About two weeks before my Momma passed she had my daddy buy her a wedding dress from a local boutique. See she wanted to re-marry him on their 25th wedding anniversary (this year was their 21st) The dress was way too small for her but she put it on anyways. Later she had me put on the dress (I could not fit it either) but she told me "You are going to make a beautiful Bride."

Memories do not have to be necessarily full of happiness to be treasured so close to the heart. I have many memories of this year that I fill my heart with sadness and a tinge of joy around the edges. Through all of this year I have learned many important lessons of growing up and taking responsibility. I have been at times "floating on top of the clouds" and at other times "buried in grief. "

I could not have made it if it was not for Jesus. My steady Rock that has held me firmly. Through all my wrongs and dissapointments. To the joyful, amazing moments. I do not want to miss out on the rest of my journey.

I do not know what 2011 will bring. I can firmly say that Jesus does :)

Happy New Year,
Tiffany

1st Christmas & Remembering

This year was my family's first Christmas without my Beautiful. Precious Momma. But as I read in someone's elses blog. She is spending Christmas with Jesus. Her love for the Lord was so passionate. I remember a time even though she must have been in a lot of pain. ( I think she sheltered a lot of times how much she must have hurt) But she got on her knees and prayed. Her courage lives on in my heart. Touching Jesus was all that mattered to her. I remember a couple of days before she passed we nearly lost her. Our double wide filled with all sorts of family, the room was filled with doubt. As I was and a few other people were holding on for a miracle. I remember leaving for church and telling that room of people I had faith and they better get some or something to that effect. It no longer matters to me what I said. The night before she passed away I came in from church ( We were having a Youth Explosion which we did not stop despite the fact of my momma's sickness and even her passing each night we were in service.. I did not want to stop. I knew my mom would want us to have church) I told her that we were going to make it and she said "Of course" Throughout everything she wanted me to talk Faith. Even when hospice came she reassured me they were only going to help, that it did not mean she was going to die. I was angered nearly every time a hospice nurse visited. I remember one day in particular. The hospice nurse was asking all sorts of questions. Even though my momma was laying there on the couch sleeping she asked what funeral home we would be using. Oh. My.Word. I know the lady was just doing her job. But for pete's sake! My momma held on to faith so strongly. She came to the Youth Explosion four days before her passing I believe. Even though she sat in the van (We were outside in a tent) My pastor prayed for her and told her to believe for God's healing and to confess her healing. She did of course even though she was half out of it with medicine. These are bittersweet memories. I cry because I miss her so much and at the same time I am impacted by her love for Jesus. I know she got her healing. Just in a way I did not want. Some days I think of the last few weeks of her life and they play continually in my mind. I try not to think of the day she went home. It was a day of shock and I comforted other people that whole weekend. Her life was definitely celebrated in that weekend. Only God gave me the strength to face it. She was truly my best friend. I wanted to share some photos I took last Christmas of her.

The Treasure Just in Reach

I know it is hard for all of us at times on this path God has chosen.. At times you feel like that you could give up. The world seems to offer you better things.. But you know deep within your heart those things are only temporary. Last week my Co-Pastor read something to me that "stuck in my crawl" so to speak. I will tell it to the best of my memory. (True story) This man was in his early thirties and I can't remember exactly how he ended up in the hospital. But he died.. He saw himself on the table as he went up. He found himself surrounded by all these rooms. An angel came to him and started showing him the rooms. They were filled with diamonds and all sorts of precious jewels. The man asked the angel what all these were for. The angel told him that it was the treasure to be given to God's servants.. but they gave up right before they were to recieve it.

I have to say that it really struck a chord in my heart. Yes, waiting on what step to take in life next is hard. Yes, waiting for God to give me a husband is hard. Yes, living without my precious mother is hard. But I have to remember God has a plan in all this. I will recieve the promises He has promised. I can not give up so easily.. God's treasure is just in reach. I will trust Him. Because even though on my toughest of days.. I am a jewel in His crown. I will trust Him because He is worthy... He hasn't forgotten you dear Lady of God. He loves you and understands when nobody does. He knows the depth of your heart and the thoughts that you think. And yet He still chases you with reckless Love. Oh me, wow.. when I think about it.. It makes my heart want to burst with all sorts of emotions! Oh how He loves us...

Update

Hey everybody, it has been a long time since I last posted. I have gotten so busy just working and being lazy! Today I actually thought about starting my online classes, but I don't know! LOL Anyways the Lord has laid it on my heart to change my blog name. I am at a new stage in my life having to make new desicions and well just living life. The other night I was brainstorming some new names when the name "Sacred Purpose" flowed from my brain. I knew it was what the Lord wanted me to rename my blog. It seems when I try to give a try at dating or try to give a guy a chance I end up sticking stronger to my "no dating, just waiting" policy. I have decided I am going to stick to my purpose in my heart. I am going to continue my romance with Jesus, and not worry about getting a boyfriend or husband. I actually had someone tell me I needed to lower my standards about saving my first kiss. Now, I wish I would have said... "Excuse me, they are my lips, and if I decided to do this it's my business." I would rather be single and be content. Than be married just to be married. God satifies every longing soul. I can surley survive ;) I will stick by my standards and if God sees fit He will bring a long a Warrior Poet who will respect that and love that in me :)

Anyways so now that I have got that off my chest... I hope you will enjoy my blog change that will be coming up :)

My Purpose- "that with purpose of heart they would cleave unto the Lord" ~Acts 11:23

Life

So now that I am back home in the greatest state in the USA. It's time to get back to life. *sigh* I am going to share my favorite picture of my vacation. Maybe I have went a little overboard.. But yea :) LOL

I don't think I have posted it yet but I have enrolled in online classes for photography. I am excited and I am hoping to soon finish and be able to start my own little business.

God has been simply amazing this past month and a half. I have bad days where I miss my momma so bad. She was truly my best friend. But I know God had a reason and purpose. That always helps me to take a big breath and to know that I don't see the big picture :)

I hope to be blogging more now and to be able to read all the blogs I have suscribed to..But anyways thank you everybody for the comments and prayers :)

Blessings and Love,

Tiffany

Saving My First Kiss

Heya :) So I am on my way home from
vacation. I had a blast! Made so many memories and even got to meet Elvis!! (an impersonator of course) LOL You would have thought he was the real thing.. Because we went a second time to see him :) LOL But overall it was a blast to go shopping and just having a crazy, good time :)

Speaking of shopping I went into a book store that had really really cheap books. I got "Authentic Beauty" by Leslie Ludy for $5.99 and "Saving My First Kiss" for only $2! I just finished "Saving My First Kiss" Let me tell you I was estatic to find a book titled that! An interesting concept the author talked about ( Lisa Velthouse who at the time the book was a 20yr old who had never been kissed) was think of your life like a huge painting. Up there in a corner is a white space and you keep pointing to the Artist "Hey look at that white space, please paint it" (my words) When all along He is already painting something beautiful in your life... You got to step and look back at the whole picture instead of sticking your nose right on that white space. Another thing I liked about this book is she talks about the big question "How far can I go" She introduces a new question "How much can I save" Wouldn't it be great to one day give your husband/wife your
first kiss or like one of my best friends your first hug. Like I told some people the other night there is nothing wrong with being pure.. God actually celebrates purity.. Not just physical purity but a heart that is pure toward Him. It's actually great if you save your kisses and hugs. Think of it this was would rather have a heart full of past regrets or a heart full of rewards with waiting. Waiting is hard I know but all good things came to them that wait :) So the question is how much can you save?

Blessings and Love,
Tiffany

~Tiffany's iPhone~