Wednesday, December 29, 2010

1st Christmas & Remembering










This year was my family's first Christmas without my Beautiful. Precious Momma. But as I read in someone's elses blog. She is spending Christmas with Jesus. Her love for the Lord was so passionate. I remember a time even though she must have been in a lot of pain. ( I think she sheltered a lot of times how much she must have hurt) But she got on her knees and prayed. Her courage lives on in my heart. Touching Jesus was all that mattered to her. I remember a couple of days before she passed we nearly lost her. Our double wide filled with all sorts of family, the room was filled with doubt. As I was and a few other people were holding on for a miracle. I remember leaving for church and telling that room of people I had faith and they better get some or something to that effect. It no longer matters to me what I said. The night before she passed away I came in from church ( We were having a Youth Explosion which we did not stop despite the fact of my momma's sickness and even her passing each night we were in service.. I did not want to stop. I knew my mom would want us to have church) I told her that we were going to make it and she said "Of course" Throughout everything she wanted me to talk Faith. Even when hospice came she reassured me they were only going to help, that it did not mean she was going to die. I was angered nearly every time a hospice nurse visited. I remember one day in particular. The hospice nurse was asking all sorts of questions. Even though my momma was laying there on the couch sleeping she asked what funeral home we would be using. Oh. My.Word. I know the lady was just doing her job. But for pete's sake! My momma held on to faith so strongly. She came to the Youth Explosion four days before her passing I believe. Even though she sat in the van (We were outside in a tent) My pastor prayed for her and told her to believe for God's healing and to confess her healing. She did of course even though she was half out of it with medicine. These are bittersweet memories. I cry because I miss her so much and at the same time I am impacted by her love for Jesus. I know she got her healing. Just in a way I did not want. Some days I think of the last few weeks of her life and they play continually in my mind. I try not to think of the day she went home. It was a day of shock and I comforted other people that whole weekend. Her life was definitely celebrated in that weekend. Only God gave me the strength to face it. She was truly my best friend. I wanted to share some photos I took last Christmas of her.








5 comments:

Anonymous said...

I will never for get the little sway she had as someone would sing in church. she had the most beautiful hair and she would get to goin and her hair would just sway all out beside her. it's hard to describe but its one of the things I miss seeing. I LOVE YOU TIP TOE more than you know and I think you are a very beautiful young lady that is strong in faith just like Sis. Valerie.She would be so proud of the way you have handled life since her going to be with Jesus.

Anonymous said...

I will never for get the little sway she had as someone would sing in church. she had the most beautiful hair and she would get to goin and her hair would just sway all out beside her. it's hard to describe but its one of the things I miss seeing. I LOVE YOU TIP TOE more than you know and I think you are a very beautiful young lady that is strong in faith just like Sis. Valerie.She would be so proud of the way you have handled life since her going to be with Jesus.

godlyrose said...

Thank you for sharing these memories with us. They are beautiful memories. Even in her physical absence, I am sure that your mother is very proud of the woman you are becoming. Love you.

Hope said...

Thanks for sharing, Tiff. I know it must be hard for you, not having her with you anymore. But I also know that your faith in God is very great and that He is with you in theses hard times. Love you, girl. :)

{Far From Perfect} said...

Hey Tiffany! I know how hard loss can be... I know it's rough... keep up the fight. She is a beautiful lady that left an incredible legacy. Much love to you.